Reality

It is the first time I have felt that way in months, nine months to be exact. I guess maybe since leaving school I have become more sensitive to it. I wonder what it is though. Was it the chaotic scrambling of twenty people in a confined place? Was it a hint of claustrophobia? Was it the discomfort of having a co-worker in a tight situation that she brought upon herself?

Why tonight? Why did I feel anxious tonight? It was supposed to be fun and celebratory, enjoyable and stress free. But I drove home tonight with a racing heart and a nervous tension that I thought I had ditched a long time ago.

I guess I’m not as far along as I once thought I was. That shadow that I left in my footprints all the way in Maine has made it to Virginia now. What is it, a feeling of sadness? Maybe I just need rest. Maybe this is just too busy of a schedule.

I need to avoid thinking about it too much tonight though. Tonight I just need to rest and sleep well, with dreams of beauty.

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