Fitting in

Its a good sign that I have not posted in a while, I promise you.

My mom was wondering what happened to her son. I called her more often when I was in the woods. I know, no way to repay her. But I figured she would understand and know, the less calls, the better I am doing.

Now I am jacked up on caffeine from my first coke since I can remember from a triathlon social a couple hours ago. I’ve been keeping busy, almost too busy. Its just there is so much to do and the day is only 24 hours. Trying to find time for eight to ten hours of sleep just is not practical right now.

I’ve joined the cycling, climbing, triathlon, kayaking, and outdoor clubs. I’ve been keeping up academically and putting in some fairly brutal days of training recently.

I’m so damn tired but I just can’t let myself take a nap when there’s studying or socializing or training that needs to be done.

My weight has teetered above 130 the past week. I am looking for a racing weight of 129 for Age Group Nationals in a few weeks. I have lost five pounds since I got here, most of it fat gained when I had my cast on.

I have organized an open water swim tomorrow afternoon that is looking to be a lot more people that I intended for. I guess thats the way it happens though. I either build it up and advertise and take my chances with the group size or keep it quiet and risk swimming alone.

I was pretty nervous about living by myself but its turning out to be pretty nice. I have always enjoy my quiet time and this set up allows for it. Not only am I in the house alone but really in a quaint neighborhood of professors, retirees, and grad students the surroundings allow for total peacefulness.

I don’t know whether everyone is being exceptionally friendly because they actually enjoy my company or if this is just the amiable nature of students at the beginning of the year. I was nervous that the months away from the social scene may have hindered my ability to function in this setting but I guess my Mama taught me right.

Collegiate cycling starts this weekend with the home mountain bike race. My nerves are already giving me butterflies. Next weekend is my first triathlon without a broken thumb in three months. The entire past few seasons have been marked by several top five finishes and only a handful of scattered wins but I’m ready to change that. I can’t expect much more than second or third place when I’m racing my teammates Ryan Peterson and Michael Harlow. But being the only top level Endorphin Fitness athlete at next weekends race, I can afford to get my hopes up.

This summer all I could think about was returning to the place that caused me so much stress my Freshman year. But now that I am here I understand that it wasn’t an external factor that plagued me. It was my own insecurity that made my life so difficult. I hope now, I feel now, that I have abandoned that immature self-doubt and I can enjoy myself this year. My freshman year I focused so much on my pessimistic seeming inability to “fit in”. So far all I have done is what I wanted to do and this place already feels like home. The plan stays the same, keep training, get involved in extracurriculars, get A’s, mind my p’s and q’s, and eat an apple a day. Oh yeah and go to bed early, wake up early, eat early, study early, train early.

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